This journal entry is mainly for my children and my grandchildren and great-grandchildren....I’ve been doing a lot of thinking about having the Spirit and being able to hear and understand His instructions to me....
To be able to listen to the Spirit and respond--to act on what He tells me. This may be the hardest thing to do, to recognize when the Spirit is telling you something. Sometimes it may be just a quiet voice in your heart to do a simple good thing. Other times you may actually hear a voice or even see angels. All are possibilities... Do not doubt..... (Study and learn about the Gifts of the Spirit)
Faith-promoting stories can build our faith and our trust in the Lord, and consequently help us through our own Gethsemanes. Joseph Smith, in his second Lecture on Faith, explains how faith and testimony has been carried on through the generations by the words of faithful people. Doesn’t that mean that faith is sharable? “Faith-promoting” stories can literally increase the level of our faith. By passing the light of faith-filled words from person to person, we can improve our perspective and begin to recognize the Lord’s purposes in all things. As we grow in our ability to thank Him in all things, our light within will be given the “faith-fuel” it needs to burn more brightly. This is why I am sharing this with not only my children but also my friends.
So........ Let me tell you a story... or two....
The rule I learned to follow is if it is a good thing or a good thought that passes through your mind, then you need to listen and follow that thought or feeling. That is the whispering of the Spirit. If it is a warning do not second guess that warning. If you learn to listen to those feelings your life will be different--you will be protected and you will become a Spiritual person, for this is the Spirit talking to you....
When I was just 17 I was driving alone on Thanksgiving Day going to my grandparents house for Thanksgiving dinner. I was driving on Sherman Way, not in a hurry, for I was going way early. I was driving past an old folk’s home or maybe a hospital... Not sure now... But what I am sure of is the message. The feeling I got was that I should stop, go in and see if there was someone I could visit. As a 17 year old I questioned that thought. I remember thinking “I don't know anyone there." ... I drove on... I have always wondered who I would have met, and what effect that visit might have had on either me or the person I would have served. I did not listen to the Spirit (I know now it was the Spirit that wanted me to stop).... The growth I could have had at that time if I had listened...
Another story for my kids..... When I was almost 18, David O McKay passed away... I had this strong impression that I needed to go to SLC for the funeral. I was in school and didn't know anyone in SLC, but I knew I needed to go... I remember coming home and telling my parents I needed to go to the funeral, surprisingly, they let me go. I had to make my own arrangements, pay my own way. I drove to the airport, flew to SLC with no place to stay, found a little Hotel near the Temple and walked in the rain to the Temple, not knowing where to go... When I got close, I saw people waiting in line for the viewing... I waited in line. We sang church hymns. I remember singing We Thank Thee for a Prophet... It was a special experience.... When I had my turn to view the Prophet it was as if I was alone... I felt the presence of the Spirit so strong... I know angels were there watching over the Prophet. I actually saw them. They were real..... I knew this man truly was a Prophet of God, it was revealed to me, I cannot deny it.... I then went to the funeral the next day, and sat in the balcony right above the casket... Oh, how strong the Spirit was. The reason I share this story is that I had this feeling I should go. Common sense and logic asked "why?" Reasons were there for me not to go... But I followed that feeling and had a Spiritual experience that I will never forget. It helped shape who I am today.... Had I not gone, who knows what could be different... I listened to the Spirit that time and it changed my life....
While being here in Afghanistan, it has become even more important to me to be able to have the Spirit with me so that I can hear His warnings and follow them. I know that I am in harm’s way. I know it is dangerous. The blessing I received from President Halverson promised me if I was faithful and listened to the Spirit, I would be safe. My Patriarchal blessing blesses me with a wonderful gift of the Spirit, the power of perception, “that I will be able to look into the eyes and hearts of your associates and be able to discern their motives toward me." It goes on to say some will try to destroy my faith in God and some will try to destroy me personally... I know that to receive this gift of the Spirit certain things are required of me, simple things really, pray daily night and day-a kneeling prayer, read the scriptures and ponder and apply what I read, treat all people kindly with respect and love... I'm working on doing these things and more. I can feel a change of heart, a new love for those around me, and I have heard the Spirit direct and comfort me. It is real.
Another story...
Went to Char Bulock....... It is a site that the Corp will not visit due to its location. It is in an area known to be an active area with Taliban... As I drive to the job site on the dirt road I can see them sitting under a tree or next to a stream. On the drive back a Toyota SUV drove up behind us very fast. The guard in the back seat sitting next to me, who travels holding the gun, quietly moved his AK 47 to a different position, took off the safety and put his finger on the trigger. The truck passed us, then stopped up ahead. You could tell the guard was alert and somewhat nervous. The men got out of the SUV and they were all were carrying AK 47s. They greeted some other men at the side of the road and started chatting. We drove passed them.... without incident..the guard, once we had passed them, made a motion with his hand similar to crossing yourself in a prayer .. he actually did it twice... I asked my interpreter when I got back to my site and he said it was a Muslim prayer of thanks....
The interesting thing is that I could tell he was nervous, and yet I didn't feel nervous or have any type of fear.... I had said my prayers that morning and asked the Lord to look after me. I asked Him if it was ok to go, and I felt comfortable, and I felt that way all day.
Ok,..... side note, today in the Corp meeting they told us that on Friday, near a school about 5 miles from the job site, about mid way from the main road to our site, the school teacher was found killed, left on the gravel road, beheaded... this is the same road I drove on the day before... I passed the school... It’s a little scary. I think I will change my routine and go to this site only once a month or so and take some extra security with me next time....
Another side note, in the security briefing today I was told that they are expecting the Taliban to conduct a "spectacular" attack in the Mazar area before winter, I realize this is a place on unrest.
It made me realize how lucky/blessed I was... it made me think about how important it is for me to live my life in all ways so that I can hear the Spirit give me warnings and answers to my prayers. I do believe that when I said my prayers the day I went to the job site the Lord comforted me and let me know that I would be okay. I want to have that ability to hear Him every day.
I have had many sacred Spiritual experiences. I have heard the whisperings of the Spirit, I have had my heart touched, I have seen angels. Once I was sitting next to a dear friend (my best friend) in Church and we had whispered to us the exact same message at the same time, a personal message pertaining only to us, we turned to each other and asked "did you hear that', we had heard a voice and we received the same direction at the same time. I have been blessed with the knowledge that God is real. I want my children and grandchildren to know this. Study the gifts of the Spirit. They are great and they are yours if you live your life as you know you should. Look at your trials as tests of faith and through those trials you will grow. You will become stronger in the faith knowing God... He is real... You will have trials, tests of faith. At that time turn to the Lord and your righteous friends and find the strength you need. Believe it or not the blessings of your trials are great, they will make you great and prepare you for the eternities.
President Spencer W. Kimball gave us guidelines for assessing spiritual progress that are thought provoking. He said: "We can also tell that we are making progress by the attention we get from the adversary. This has been the lot of the Lord's people from the beginning, and it will be no different in our time . . . The prophet Joseph Smith received the counsel that ‘all these things shall give thee experience and shall be for thy good.’ "There is the reason. It is for our development, our growth, our education and advancement, that we buffet the fierce waves of sorrow and misfortune: and we shall be all the stronger and better when we have swum the flood and stand upon the farther shore:"
Our Lives are Under Construction
Much like a road construction project, our lives often must be torn up before they can be improved, widened, made more serviceable. The minute we determine to travel the path of spiritual progress, we are likely to find barricades, detours, or the very entrance to a freeway we had most hoped to travel closed for reconstruction.
How do we respond? Can we use our trials of faith as motivation to seek the Lord with greater intensity, and in retrospect recognize His purposes? Brigham Young said, “There is not a single condition of life or one hour’s experience but what is beneficial to all those who make it their study, and aim to improve upon the experience they gain.”
I write and share this now because there is a chance that I might not come home, something could happen. If something happens to me here it will not be because I didn't listen, or do the right things. It will be because things happen. I will listen. I will do the right things. I know, however, that there are people around me that have their own choice and free agency to do evil, they want to harm Americans. I will do all I can to return home, get married and serve the Lord with my wife, enjoy my children and grandchildren and be the example I know the Lord expects me to be.
